One Tip for Effective Communication in China: The Rule of Three

Effective communication requires engagement from both ends of the communication cycle—both the ability to send a message and receive feedback from your audience. Using this cycle to reach a common understanding is more of an art than a science—even when we communicate with others from our home culture. However, it is even more challenging when communicating cross-culturally in China.

Communications Cycle

Image Source: Living Well Education

A key communications difference is the Chinese emphasis on maintaining a good relationship, which generally comes across through indirect communications where messages are communicated more subtly. However, typical American communications focuses on details and efficiency in a style that is more direct. In my experience, adjusting to the Chinese communication style is more effective than forcing Chinese friends or colleagues to adjust to the American default. This adjustment may honestly feel like a waste of time as it means personal interactions may take longer, but is a critical way to build relationships of trust with Chinese connections. 

One Tip: The Rule of Three

A practice that helped my interaction with Chinese friends and colleagues is the rule of three - asking about the same topic three different times in three different ways".  I first learned of this concept through an invaluable class called "Connecting across Cultures" from Global Savvy and it has proved to be an invaluable practice.

Image Source: Germane Consulting

Case in Point: Lunch Plans

In question— arranging lunch with a group of coworkers.

In America this question is typically resolved in short order through a direct dialogue centered around everyone's availability. If your colleagues, aren't available, you identify a time when everyone is available in the near future and update calendars accordingly. However, while living in China over 8 years I discovered this question was not so simple.

A Typical Lunch Dialogue in China

Step 1 (10 am): A general question followed by a vague answer

Question - "Hey, what's the plan for lunch today?”

Answer – "I don't know."

Follow Up - "Ok. Well, keep me posted."

Step 2 (11 am): A more specific question followed by a still murky answer

Question - "So about what time are you thinking about going to lunch today?"

Answer – "Probably before 12."

Follow Up - "Got it. I'll check back in a bit.

Step 3 (11:45 am): An even more specific question followed by going to lunch.

Question – "So where are we going for lunch?

Answer - "Either the Sichuan place or the spicy fish place."

Follow Up - "Great. Either works for me. Let's go!"

In the end, we may go to a completely different restaurant! However, when lunch involved a group, the communication was indirect and required me to ask at least two times before arriving at a clear answer. This does not mean that Chinese people always communicate in an indirect fashion, but in social activities for a group indirect communication is the default. Adjusting to this style was difficult, especially because such indirect communication is not the default for most people in America.

Broader Applications at Work

While this post has focused on a lunch dialogue, I also found the rule of three helpful when discussing projects at work. If I simply asked a direct question, I may have received a prompt reply, but the feedback either created inaccurate perceptions or misunderstandings. If we dig deeper into the source of these communication differences it comes back to the way the Chinese person views relationships. In the next post, we will explore in more depth the major differences on how these two cultures view relationships.

Beyond Bai Jiu: 3 Keys to Connecting with Your Chinese Colleagues

On a blustery winter evening in early 1998 I was first introduced to both Bai Jiu (Chinese hard liquor) and the concept of "guan xi" or relationship.  As I choked down a few shots of Bai Jiu , which tasted like a combination of paint thinner and rubbing alcohol, I started to wonder just why we needed to drink with these local government officials and how in the world this was going to help us conduct the audit of our micro loan project.

What I have discovered since is connecting with Chinese co-workers can be confusing and even require you to step out of your comfort zone ;whether it is drinking Bai Jiu or singing Karaoke.  I have also found three keys to connecting with your Chinese co-workers.  Whether they are co-workers or customers, if we want to connect with Chinese colleagues, we must understand these three keys.  If we don't, we will further complicate the already difficult business environment in China.

Three Keys to Connecting with Chinese Co-Workers or Customers

Recently, a friend invited me to appear on a TV show here in Shanghai called "Culture Matters" to discuss my experience working with and for Chinese colleagues here in China.  During the show, the other guests and I discussed a variety of topics, but what is most relevant to this post are specific examples that highlight the three keys to connecting with Chinese co-workers or customers. 

• 1) Relationships - Importance of Personal Interactions: Personal connections or relationships are important in a Western work environment, but "guan xi" or relationships in China carry different expectations.  There are two clear examples discussed in the show: Bai Jiu and Duck Necks.  In video 2 (time stamp 7:45), a member of the audience and Jie LIang explains why it is important to drink with your Chinese business associates.  The key idea is that it provides a relaxed setting with your Chinese associate and an opportunity to more clearly define your relationship with them through the shared experience of a meal.  This is also why bringing snacks like duck necks back to the office after a trip, which is discussed in video 4 at time stamp 0:30, is important.  Both Bai Jiu and duck necks are shared experiences that help define and develop your relationship.   

• 2) Deference to Authority - Preservation of "Face": Saving face or showing respect to others does exist in the the West.  For example, we may apologize if we have said something that other's have found offensive or use especially polite language when discussing a sensitive topic.  However, the added twist in China is a connection to hierarchy.  It is not only about whether what you are saying is offensive, but also the hierarchy of those speaking. For example, when Andrew Curtain talked about raising a suggestion to visiting foreign executives in front of his Chinese boss in video 3 (time stamp 3:14), he was causing his boss to lose face. However, the reason his boss lost face was not due to Andrew's comments themselves, but because from the Chinese perspective Andrew's position was lower on the company hierarchy than both his boss and the visiting executives.

• 3) Hierarchy - Respect for Status and Seniority: From my perspective, successfully navigating hierarchy is the most challenging part of Chinese culture.  As I mentioned in video 2 (time stamp 14:20), a clear example of hierarchy can be found in an important report, which I worked on extensively over a number of weeks, but never understood why we were compiling.  What was most shocking was the fact my direct boss not only didn't know how our report was received by senior management, but also told me it was none of our business! In that situation it would seem that the hierarchy was such that my boss and I were too low in the department hierarchy to learn about the outcome of the meeting.  

What Does Your Experience Look Like?

Given the fact the number of foreigners working and living in China has grown in recent years, I would be eager to hear others' experience in this area.  Has understanding these three keys help you connect with Chinese colleagues?  If so, how have you successfully used them?  What else have you found helpful?

Next Post

Working with Chinese colleagues can be complex, but I believe understanding the influence of these three keys will help us successfully navigate this ancient yet ever-changing landscape.  In my next post, I will explore best practices for navigating these cultural differences. If you have an experience you would like to share, please post it below or send me an e-mail at joabmeyer@global.t-bird.edu.

Culture Matters Video Links

• Culture Matters: Part 1 
• Culture Matters: Part 2  (I enter at the 10:56 Time Stamp)
• Culture Matters: Part 3 (I exit at the 5:56 Time Stamp)
• Culture Matters: Part 4

Additional Resources:  Sites I Have Found Helpful in Creating This Post

• Doing Business in China 
• W3's "Working Effectively With China"