Thoughts on Social Media After my "Fastbook Fast"

Does it ever feel like checking your Facebook Wall to "like" your "friends" newest silly picture or share your personal commentary on world events is a mild addiction that you can't kick!? 

To be honest, for me back in February I could sense these sort of tenancies arising in my heart.

In my February 12, 2013 post I began to explore how technology can be used as a tool to connect with others and increase our personal productivity.  However, after discussing some of the issues in that post with my wife, we jointly made the decision to "fast" or abstain from viewing or posting on Facebook as part of lent.  

I went into the fast holding a number of convictions on how to best use social media.  However, now that I have come to the end of six weeks without Facebook, I wanted to reflect on key lessons I learned from this "Facebook Fast".  I especially want to talk about how it has changed my personal convictions about the best way to use social media to build connections with others and how to avoid those addictive tendencies moving forward.    

"Facebook Fast" Takeaways
  
I would capture my lessons learned about Facebook into two camps - the first is largely a list of things to avoid and the second those I want to embrace. 

#1 With Facebook I don't...

• Need to comment on everything that happens - either in my personal life or in world news.  Sometimes, it is ok to just let something your kids said be funny or simply share it with your family or friends the old fashion way - over phone or e-mail.  Furthermore, when crazy things happen - like North Korean launching a "We are the World" music video - it can just be funny and you don't have to tell the world your personal opinion on the matter.

• Gain as much satisfaction on-line as through face to face interaction: When I chose not to follow what was happening in people's lives through Facebook, my face to face interaction with them became even more precious.  I enjoyed discovering what they were thinking or feeling for the first time without having already read about it on-line.  What is more, I was reminded just how much more satisfying it is to have a face to face conversation.  You can understand a bit about how your friend is feeling about moving back to the U.S. after living in China for years by following their Facebook feed.  However, sitting down and talking with them about their feelings, provides a much richer experience. 

• Need to eat when I am not hungry.  I have heard it said that "Facebook has become the equivalent to standing in front of the fridge and looking for something to eat when you aren't actually hungry."  I found this to be very true during my fast.  Yes, I felt lonelier, especially at first, but I soon realized that what I was missing was largely trivial interactions.  These interactions largely provided a way to feed my urge to gather a large quantity of information or served as a distraction from things I was procrastinating.  I often succeeded in gaining information, but it was far from satisfying, especially if it wasn't related to someone with whom I had a on-going, real life connection.          

#2 With Facebook I Do...

• Learn - Staying in Touch:  Facebook is a powerful tool to stay up to date on the photos, funny moments and general thoughts of my family, friends and others I can learn from.  Without Facebook I missed seeing pictures of my growing new-born niece and the latest funny story from my friend who seems to pick up China news stories before the mainstream media.  

• Share - A Convenient Platform: I want a platform to quickly share information with a wide group of people I have a connection to (IE: blog postings, funny pictures or experiences).  During my "Facebook Fast" I had to find other ways to share this information with others.  While there is still merit in traditional tools like e-mail, one of the major values of Facebook is that it is convenient. 

Facebook Ambitions Moving Forward

With these experiences there are at least two things I aim to change when it comes to how I use Facebook

• #1 Be Intentional:  Before I even point my browser to Facebook, I want to have a clear purpose in mind for how I plan to use the site to share or connect with others.  If I can't think of something specific to share or someone in particular that I was to connect with, then I don't need to get on the site.

• #2 Set Limits: Facebook is one of many tools I can use to connect with those around me; therefore, it is healthy to set limits as to how much and for what purposes I use it.  
• The first part of the limits are natural - if I have not had a significant conversation with my wife or children, today I need to prioritize interaction with them over any interaction I might be able to gain on-line.    
• The other part of the limits are more mechanical.  In this area, one of the best tools recommended to me is the Pomodoro Technique.  You can learn more on their website, but the big idea is to use a timer to rotate between 25 minutes of "work" and 5 minutes of "non-work" activities.  It works best when I have tasks that are primarily my responsibility to complete.  The Pomodoro Timer app on Google Chrome as helps me stay focused and avoid the temptation to go on Facebook or other "non-work" sites during a time I have designated for focusing on work.  In fact, if you try to go on any non-work sites it will block you with a pomodoro tomato!    

Community Question 

So what do you think?  Do you have any tips that help you use social media like Facebook in a healthy way?  How do you use social media to build significant connections with those around you?