Not only have Larry and his wife Linda deeply impacted my wife, Emily, and I, but their broader family have as well. Their son in law and one of their own sons have been our small group leaders and provided invaluable counsel and care through two dramatic seasons of change in the life of our family. When Emily and I visited Larry and his wife on June 9, we knew Larry was very sick with cancer, but we had no idea he would pass away nearly a week later.
Our last meeting with Larry made such an impact on us that I had to capture it in a short essay. I share it with Linda's permission in the hope that it causes each of us to think about the fact our lives are so very short and that each of us need to entrust our lives every day to God's greater purposes - even if it means pushing into things that are very uncomfortable - from something as trivial as a flat tire that messes up your daily schedule to something as monumental as death.
I took a deep breath and embraced my discomfort at the thought of encountering death face to face. We walked into the bedroom where Larry lay dying; his body shrunk to a shadow of the man I had seen only one month prior. Yet, in the midst of this wasting away, Larry radiated with hope; his eyes bright.
I thanked Larry for teaching me how to suffer well; continually seeking God in the midst of trials to better understand God's heart for His children. When I was unemployed for 9 months Larry had been valiantly battling cancer and was a great encouragement to me in my hardship that paled in comparison to his. Larry's eyes lit up at my mention of his encouragement and his smiled grew as he said "I learned that lesson a long time ago; you have to learn to let go." He elaborated by sharing that one call to "let go" only lead to another. From being laid off to then breaking his wrist and then seeing God provide caretaker jobs for he and Linda, Larry shared that learning to "let go" in that season had aided his ability to "let go" in his struggle with cancer. Larry led a surrendered life - striving to make the most of life and yet haven given up a desire for ultimate control over it. That control had been given over to the only One who is the Lord over all of life.
Larry's finishing well struck a somber reminder in my "well planned" life - "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." (Proverbs 19:21) Plans are good - whether Larry's plans to conquer cancer a second time or my family's plans to set up life in China for a third time - but only God's purposes are ultimate. O, how each of us needs to learn to cultivate the daily habit of surrender; not a giving up of our planning or hopes, but the daily act of handing them over to the Only One who has complete control.
O, that moment by moment we might cultivate the ability to let God "mess up" our plans, to achieve His eternal purposes that are far greater and draw our hearts deeper to Him than we could ever imagine. This cultivation of an on-going balance between ambition and humility is one of the key life lessons that Larry taught me. For Larry and I only Jesus can help us provide that balance as He was the only person who ever had complete control over His life and yet said "No one takes it [his life] from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again." It's the recognition that Jesus is in complete control that ultimately provides the balance to compel me forward into an unknown future that He will establish - an all-knowing and all-powerful God. Indeed we all need to cultivate this balance of humility and ambition, if we are to truly "let go" of our lives that we might find them again."
