Habits Fuel Purpose – Part 2: The Importance of Self-Reflection

In this last post, we began to explore the connection between purpose and habits, especially the fact we must develop habits that keep us aligned to our larger purpose. In the end, cultivating this connection between purpose and habits will strengthen our ability to come through any change a more resilient person.

The key question remains – What practical ways can we strengthen the purpose – habit connection?  

First, let’s dive deeper into purpose. In a thought-provoking article entitled “Has Performance Become Your Purpose” business leader Kevin Cashman defines purpose as an intersection of “distinguishing talents and our deepest-held values”. He goes on to note that purpose is “our authenticity in-service to something larger."  Honestly, it is often easy to identify “something larger” (e.g. having a healthy relationship with our children or successfully leading a new initiative at work), but it is surprisingly tricky to figure out practical skills to realize this larger purpose. Habits fuel purpose. It isn’t enough to merely declare that you want to impact “something larger”, you must identify the practical habits or “distinguishing talents” you will use to make progress towards that larger purpose.  

The first habit we each should consider is self-reflection. 

I can’t overstate the fact that if we are in danger of wasting our change, it is often because we don’t give ourselves space to reflect on how the change is impacting us personally. 

Regardless of where you are in the cycle of your change, you will benefit from being honest with yourself about how the change is impacting you. It can be keeping a personal journal like the one I wrote after leaving Minnesota or making time to talk with a good friend about how you are dealing with the changes you are going through. 

Regardless of how you self-reflect, we each need space to think about where we have come from, where we are going and what we want to take with us in our next season – whether a stage in life or project at work. In this self-reflection, you may also find bad habits have prevented you from having the impact you originally envisioned. If that’s the case, you may start by reflecting on the simple connection between your calendar and your purpose. Did the way you spent your time reflect that “something larger” that you want to impact? If you fell short, which we all do, take time to reflect on the good habits you want to put in place to improve in the next season.  

Often the missing habits won’t be surprising (e.g. consistently getting enough sleep or learning to say “no” to your boss’ requests for commitments outside your current project), but the ability to improve these habits may be confusing. Cashman is correct, that our “deepest held values” play a significant part of fueling our purpose. If you are struggling to overcome a bad habit, go back to these values to help you remember the “something larger” that you want to achieve through your habits. Beyond this “something larger” you must find other external influences from other people to provide accountability that encourages your good habits. In my next post, I plan to explore the role that a personal support network plays in providing this accountability.   

In the meantime, I welcome your comments on self-reflection. 

How has self-reflection helped your ability to stay aligned with your larger purpose? 

What are the most effective ways you've found to be self reflective?



Originally published here via LinkedIn on August 4, 2017

Habits Fuel Purpose

In my previous post on resilience, I noted the importance of purpose in empowering anyone to successfully emerge from any change. Purpose gives us power to “focus beyond our immediate circumstances or feelings.” The good news is that purpose not only calls us outside of our immediate context, but there are habits that can improve our ability to stay in the path of purpose. One of those habits is that of self-reflection.

We are in danger of wasting our change, if don’t give ourselves space to reflect on how the change is impacting us personally.

This doesn’t require going on a two-day private retreat in the woods, but can simply be daily habits of journaling and quiet meditation – regularly giving ourselves a few minutes to pause and reflect. The importance of purpose came home to me as I rolled away from our home in Minnesota this past summer of 2016. 

Our two years in Minnesota had not only been rich in relationships, but also surprisingly short. God has been very clear that there were many good reasons He was calling us to a global popcorn adventure in China, more details on that here. However, there was real grief from leaving the intimacy of our known communities in Minnesota for numerous unknowns in China.      

As the moving truck rolled down the road to leave Minneapolis, I said a silent prayer. I asked God for equal parts grief and faith – “Help me to mourn the loss of a season that was so sweet with countless evidences of your care for our family.” I also asked for God’s practical help - “Help me also to see how to take what I’ve learned in Minnesota and carry it with me to where you are calling our family next.” 

As I jotted this prayer down in my personal journal I began to realize that there were habits I had cultivated in Minnesota that I want to carry with me to China, including:

• 1) Having “off-line” time each morning and evening for daily meditation and reflection
• 2) Making time every month for consistent "Daddy Dates" with each of our four kids 
• 3) Regularly connecting with men who want to better lead their families and communities 

Not surprisingly, I quickly noted that each of these three habits were connected to three key areas of my purpose – personal development, family relationships and community impact. As I began to reflect on this connection, I realized that

purpose fuels habits

In other words, our ability to focus beyond our immediate circumstances or emotions doesn’t just happen by accident; it must be cultivated in our daily lives. At the same time these habits can’t survive on their own – as though I could simply will myself to a commitment of 30 minutes in “off-line” meditation every day. This habit of meditation will cease to be meaningful, if it is not connected to a larger purpose.

In the next post, I will further explore this connection between purpose and habits, especially as it relates to practical matters like how we spend our time. In the meantime, I am curious to hear the perspective of others. 

Do habits help fuel your larger purpose? If so, which habits are most important? 

What practical steps have helped you to form habits connected to your purpose?

Originally published here via LinkedIn on May 1, 2017

Old Roads Guide Purpose: Change Management in Daily Life

My last post highlighted the importance of resiliency in coming through any type of change stronger than you entered it. I was encouraged to see how the post resonated with others as people shared their own comments and it was re-posted. 

In a nutshell, one key source of resiliency is purpose, which can be described as taking a focus that is "beyond our immediate circumstances or feelings.” 

Artists often tell stories that clarify abstract concepts like purpose. In this "You'll Find Your Way" video songwriter Andrew Peterson illustrates the importance of purpose in our personal lives, especially in parenting our children. When we call our children to return to the time tested " old roads", we are encouraging them to look beyond their "fields of joy" and "dark nights". This ability to look at the bigger picture beyond our personal circumstances is crucial to developing resiliency.

Take a few minutes to enjoy the video and then check out the thoughtful responses to my last post on purpose. I’d love to see additional comments on either post.

Originally Published Here via LinkedIn on March 6, 2017